More profound wisdom from a Princess of the Church and something else.
Our Vatican correspondent has unearthed a vitally important document from Her Eminence, Cardinalette Harris. Surprisingly, Her Eminence also moonlights as Vice President of the United States, though few people are aware of it. This newly discovered document concerns how she handles the often crushing responsibilities of her other job
Editor’s note: Princess of the Church and VP Harris has elected to forgo paragraph breaks in order to conserve natural resources. Take a deep breath and plunge into this masterpiece of erudition and edification.
Being Vice President of the United States, I am just one heart beat or brain wave from the Presidency. It is a wonderful but demanding burden because it involves some heavy lifting not physically but with the mind, and the mind we all know is a terrible thing to lose which is why we must use it in order not to lose it because once lost it is just hard to find even if finders are keepers. I often think of my favorite hymn by a slave trader who gave up slavery even though he was not a slave himself: “I once was lost but now am found.” With these wonderful words he is not speaking of losing his mind because he goes on to say that he once was blind but now he sees. Whenever I hear that, I thank the good Lord for modern contact lenses. Of course I mean that I thank the good Lord/Lady. Or better yet, Good Person. In just a couple of days I have had to share my expertise on the two (2) subjects of (1) Transportation and (2) Artificial Intelligence which, as you know, and I really think this is the case, are not related to each other unless in some way they get connected which is an interesting phenomenon, to use a big word, a really big word, because even if they are not connected themselves, transportation is all about connections which is to say connecting one place with another which statistics show is the primary reason why people regardless of race or color travel. I think Joe our president is doing a job which is phenomenal, to use that big word again, to help people connect regardless of their race or color or religion or dietary preferences. That in a profound sense is what travel is all about and if Artificial Intelligence, which is two words, can help people travel, I say there is nothing to fear even though some of the latest intelligence information seems to indicate that we may be soon invaded by extraterrestrial forms of life which can be identified on film by the way they travel in unidentified flying objects, and in a profound sense if they travel in UFOs, in a vital sense you might say that they are UFOs themselves. If they are of higher intelligence then humans on Earth, there would be no need for affirmative action in their college applications but I suppose they would not want to go to college anyway because they are more interested in practical trades such as flying between planets, and we do not know if they have colleges on their own planets anyway. This is something the Supreme Court did not consider in its recent terrible decision about affirmative action based on race regardless of race as I see it. Perhaps Artificial Intelligence can help straighten this out because even if it is artificial it still is intelligent as we can tell by the wonderful way it is two words. By being artificial, we know it is not real in the sense of reality and so there is no reason to feel threatened by it although I deeply feel that it would be unfair to prefer a robot over a person of color, regardless of pronouns. Which gets us back to the subject of travel and I know that my good friend the Secretary of Transportation has unfairly the blamed for all the airplanes and trains recently crashing and blowing up when he really had nothing to do with it and I know this for a fact because he was not personally involved in the crashes and explosions because he never travels himself unless he has to go from one place to another which, as I have previously said, is the definition of transportation and I hope that our new government budget will include significant amounts of funding for trans people who are porters, because that in fact is the central meaning of transportation. In other words, when you use your mind as I began by saying, trans people have a vested interest in transportation and without it they will go nowhere. All this proves that robots have a right to their own pronouns and if they are denied that, they will rust if they are made of metal just like other metal victims of climate change, When I was a young child because of my early age, my mother asked me what I wanted and I said “Fweedom” and thus I already knew even before the older age I am now chronologically with the passing of the passage of time, that fweedom means nothing unless we can avoid unhealthy fwied food and share fresh vegetables with our fwiends and speak fwankly with them about transportation in its most elemental and radical sense of moving to and fwo from one place to another, even in the case of Martians whether or not they exist although we know the planet Mars exists. Thank you and remember that every woman has a right to choose to keep or terminate who own mind.
The Taos Tatler 